Pastor Ben spoke about how a single can live strong in a sexualized society. Nowadays, popular culture portrays singlehood negatively. Movies commonly depict singles as being frustrated and leading dissatisfied lives.
He shared this popular culture is similar to the then-Corinthian culture during Apostle Paul’s time, and it is for the church to ponder how it can support singles better (1 Corinthians 7:1 –9, 28–35).
We are created as relational and sexual beings. Though the world is permissive about sexuality, the Bible teaches the importance of chastity within marriage and singlehood. Pastor Ben also spoke about how the Church is the Bride of Christ in Eternity. We are being sanctified and glorified as we get ready for our marriage to the Lamb.
Pastor Ben spoke about five pointers:
1. Singleness is a good state to be in (verses 1 & 8) – Jesus was single. Paul was also single. Being single is not equivalent to being a second class citizen. Paul did not say that singleness is better than marriage, instead that there is worth and dignity being a single person.
2. Those married are not to live as singles (verses 2 to 6) – Marriage is between a male and female. A husband and a wife should come together in a marital union as God intends.
3. Singleness is a good gift (verse 7) – Some people are given the gift of singleness (the capacity to live as a single) and it is a good gift. Marriage does not solve temptations or loneliness or emotional needs. Commitment to Christ enables us to find our needs met in Him. Other verses: That is each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them (Matthew 19:10 – 12, 1 Corinthians 7:17).
4. Singleness has disadvantages (verse 9) – Pastor Ben shared that for those who are single, they will encounter difficulties as sex can only take place within marriage. However, meeting sexual needs should not be the reason to be married as marriage comes with a whole host of challenges that married couples should be aware of. Singles may struggle with loneliness more than married couples. Singles may also struggle with sexual temptations and unmet expectations from family, friends and society. Pastor Ben encouraged singles to remember that they are loved by God and the church. He shared a quote “Learn to live a fulfilled life with unfulfilled desires.” – Walter Trobisch (Philippians 4:12).
5. Single living has benefits (verses 28 – 35) – Singles may be spared of troubles that may be encountered in marriage. For those who are single, they may feel more available to serve the kingdom of God as they may have lesser family concerns (Matthew 24:19 -21).
Pastor Ben concluded with three points for the singles in our midst:
A. Don’t desire to get married for the sake of getting married.
B. Be the right person instead of looking for the right person.
C. Be sexually whole. Trust the Lord to give you strength to resist temptations.
Discussion Questions
1. In your group, share one of the pointers in the sermon that you can identify with or something new you have learnt. [10 min]
2. There are both joys and struggles in single or married life. Share your recent experience of a joy or a struggle. [10 min]
3. Loneliness is something that is experienced by both singles and marrieds. How would you agree with the quote by Walter Trobisch: “Learning to live a fulfilled life with unfulfilled desires”? [10 min]
4. 1 Corinthians 7:17 says “But in any case each one of you should continue to live the way God has given you to live—the way you were when God called you.” What is one reminder to give yourself as you grow in Christlikeness in this stage of life, whether single or married? [10 min]
