In this last sermon of the Family series, Pastor John had been impressed by the Holy Spirit to change his sermon to exhort men in Riverlife Church to assume their God-given headship in the Christian household. He taught that since the family is designed by God, it needs to be aligned to God’s pattern and order in order to thrive and flourish. The divine order is God, man, woman, and animals i.e. God is the head of man, man is the head of woman, and mankind then rules over the animal kingdom. Subverting this order would bring about chaos and unnecessary heartache as seen in Genesis. Eph 5:21 taught that we are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”. The word ‘submit’ (Greek word ‘hupotasso’), means “to get in rank” which is to get in the right position in the God-given order.
Man’s divine position in the family is the head. (Eph 5:23) The headship of the man has been clearly spelled out in the bible – Gen 2:7, Adam was created first, followed by Eve; Gen 2:18, the woman was created to be a helper to the man. In 1 Cor 11:3, it reiterated again that the head of man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
Being the head of the household means to:
- give instructions and directions to the family (as a head does to the rest of the body)
- uphold the integrity and stability of the family (as ‘head’ is also referred to as the cornerstone of a house)
Pastor John shared his observation from years of family counselling that many families, often Christian ones, flounder resulting in sin and brokenness when there is no clear head of the household, when the man absconds from his leadership role or when the woman takes over control.
As head of the household, God therefore holds man accountable. Pastor John called upon the men in Riverlife to stand up and fulfill their role. This will strengthen first the home, the church and then the nation. “I hear the cry of the Spirit of God for men to arise in this house to protect the family, by fulfilling their role as the head of the house,” he rallied the congregation with much conviction.
Drawing the analogy in Eph 5:25 where husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, Ps John mentioned that the headship of the family is expressed in the threefold office of Christ as Prophet, Priest and King:
(a) Prophet – A prophet represents God to the people
A husband is a messenger from God to his family – he proclaims the gospel his family, provides biblical instruction and training to his children, sets up the family altar and leads family devotions, and brings the family to church and help them encounter God.
(b) Priest – A priest represents people to God
A husband is to mediate his wife and family before God – he spends time in prayer each day, prays for the salvation of his children, his loved ones and relatives, promotes spirituality in the home, is a mediator to God for his family, and is willing to sacrifice his life for his family just as Jesus did for us.
(c) King – A king takes responsibility for the welfare of his people
A husband is to provide and protect his family – he provides for the needs of his family and works diligently to earn enough for food and shelter. (1 Tim 5:8)
Discussion Questions:
1) Share, from your observation or experience, why there are ‘absent fathers’ and men who would not assume their rightful role in the family. [15 min]
Leader’s Notes: Discussion starter. Some of the reasons include: fast-paced lives leading to preoccupation with work over family, empathy, passiveness in playing role as husband and father, unpreparedness to leading own family, purporting to ‘give equal rights to the wife’, overbearing wives, and irresponsibility. Be mindful that this is not meant to provide answers nor solve problems but serves only to open our eyes and ears to real-life stories and that this is a troubling trend even among Christians.
2) Citing the Holy Trinity example, explain why a woman’s subordinate role does not result in her having an inferior position to that of a man. [10 min]
Leader’s Notes: As shared by Pastor John, the woman’s subordinate role did not result from the fall but was actually God’s divine position for her in His perfect design. As in the case of the Holy Trinity, although God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all equal, they too observe a divine order among themselves – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – yet not one is inferior to the other. In the same way, while a wife may be a help-mate to her husband and is subordinate to him, it does not mean that she is inferior and be treated such, instead, she is to be respected and live in harmony with the husband. Where there are differences and it makes sense, the woman can choose to submit to her husband i.e. put her strength under control to honor him and therefore obey God’s divine order for the family.
3) Men: As ‘head’ and ‘cornerstone’ of the household, suggest ways in which a man can provide leadership in the family.
Wives: What are some practical things a wife can do to support her husband so that he can be an effective ‘head’ and ‘cornerstone’ of the family? [15 min]
Leader’s Notes: In order to play an effective leadership role to give instructions and uphold integrity in the family, men must first live to be an example to his wife and children. People learn not from words but action – our lives have to paint a visible gospel to our loved ones so they will lovingly submit to our authority. The best example we have is Jesus – how He lived His life and His manner towards His family. Even though He is God-man, He does not rely on His authority to lord over those around Him but chose instead to love them into submission. In the same way, wives need to be supportive of their husbands – accept our subordinate role and submit to them; not see it as a weakness and ‘obey’ grudgingly. Allow members to cite practical ways to show leadership (men) and loving submission (women).
Think about how the example of Jesus can be used for us to learn the role of men and wives within the Christian family. Jesus exemplifies both roles very well; look for examples in the Bible to substantiate your claims.
4) Of the 3 roles – Prophet, Priest and King –which do you/does your husband struggle most? What is one baby step you can take to move forward? How might the cell pray for you in this regard? [15 min]
Leader’s Notes: Only Jesus is perfect, we will continue to face challenges and the road to being the head of the household is necessarily part of our sanctification process. Confess to God your struggles and pray to Him for strength and wisdom to assume this all-important role. End the meeting by praying together; against any obstacle of passiveness, empathy, lethargy, irresponsibility as well as thanking God for being the greatest father of us all and from whom we can emulate.
Some possible steps could be:
a) Setting up the family altar
b) Praying for the children’s major milestones
c) Going on family mission trips
