The Bible speaks of godly ways to relate to our parents and our children in Ephesians 6:1-4
Pastor Ben shared the importance of upholding the spiritual laws of parenting. Parents need to take their spiritual authority and find the balance between letting the children run the household versus not lording over their children. He exhorted us to put on our new selves as God renews His image in our lives.
As children, honour our parents.
1. Obey (verse 1) "in the Lord", "this is right". Pastor Ben encouraged us to listen and submit to your parents. Our parents want the best for us. Pastor Ben shared about his experience where he obeyed his mother’s call to be confirmed as a Christian and found spiritual renewal in the process. We are serving the Lord when we obey our parents and this is right in the sight of God.
2. Respect (verses 2-3). Honour has an attitude of respect. We value the contributions of parents in our lives.
3. Pastor Ben spoke more about the rewards of honouring our parents (Exodus 20:12)
- " it may go well with you" - We glean wisdom, make wise decisions & avoid mistakes from their lessons.
- "you may enjoy long life", add years to our life, add life to our years!
Honouring our parents is not conditional upon the behaviour of our parents or their ages or whether we live under their households. It is right and rewarding to honour our parents.
As parents, live worthily of our children’s honour (vs 4).
1. Encourage (verse 4a)
Do not provoke or exasperate our children. He shared the example of priest Eli who did not restrain his sons after rebuking them of what is wrong (1 Samuel 2:22-34, 3:13). Pastor Ben exhorted parents to manage their own emotions before speaking to their children about what is wrong, and for children to reflect on their own actions.
2. Model (verse 4b)
Parents are to model God's love, God's ways, to model a personal walk with Jesus. He shared of an example where parents did not allow their child to go to church or cell group for a year to prepare for her primary school leaving examination. Though the child got into the school of her choice, she later found it unnecessary to go to church. It is important to put God first. It is also important for parents to disciple their children and not outsource to the church.
Pastor Ben also shared about the difference in the way fathers and mothers discipline. Mothers tend to be nurturing (1 Thessalonians 2:7, Deuteronomy 6:6-7) while fathers provide spiritual leadership (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12). Parenting needs both nurturance and spiritual leadership. One cannot do without the other. These two are essential as children want to be led to live godly lives.
Discussion Questions
1. Read Ephesians 6:1-4. What is God’s intention for us in living out Ephesians 6:1-4? [10 min]
2. Share a joy and a challenge that you face either honouring your parents or living worthily of your child’s honour. [10 min]
3. What did you learn about God or discover about yourself due to the recent joy or challenge from Q2 that you have faced with your family? [10 min]
4. What is one area of your family life you have been asking God for a breakthrough? [10 min]
